"I need you to need me"

As per my title, from this popular 70's Cheap Trick song, I have discovered something about myself.

I need poeple to need me.

I have this amazing friend who has called on my several time in the past year to help her with a reoccurring problem. But as of yet, it has begun to resolve and she is doing wonderfully.

But part of me is sad. While she is doing fantastic, this also means she doesn't need to call me late at night anymore. Is it bad for me to be sad about this?

I am the oldest of three. And my siblings are now becoming adults or teenagers, and it seems I am not the same person to them anymore.

Is this urge to define myself and my usefulness by how others call on me a bad thing? Or just a reflection of my innate motherly role.

who knows.

I realized this the other day. It seems to be a big part of me. Hopefully I can make sure its not a negative part of me. I need to realize that people can come to me for help, but that shouldnt be the defining part of our relationship.


ah. life.
while this part of me sees that I need to change the way I see some relationships, at least I am able to realize something new about myself. It seems that what life really is. Figuring out others, and in turn yourself. And from there making yourself better, for yourself, your loved ones, and our maker.